Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Couch. On fire.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
