I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Let's just wait to see what happens before we start making radical plans and starting fires
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
