you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
