I think I am morally bankrupt
only if we run a train.
done.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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