One girl and one boy is just not enough.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
anyone who says having children is the best experience of their life obviously has never seen a vending machine carry vodka in Capri sun pouches.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Never joke about your clitoris.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
