Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
a search helicopter?!
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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