I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
