Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
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