Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
