yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
