I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
