Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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