It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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