Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
