why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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