I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I think i got beer on your cat.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
