Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
You took a bar mat shot.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
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