If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
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