I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
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