she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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