Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Apparently "I have the beer shits" isn't the excuse my boss wanted to hear. So sue me
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
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