Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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