its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
