Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
Randomize
