Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Who died my cat blue again?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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