Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Randomize
