In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I need a hoe opinion
go on
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
