I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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