It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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