maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
pop tarts are not kleenex
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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