i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
