i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
