well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
