Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
