Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
