after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
