fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
