Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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