You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I am one with the molecules
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
Randomize
