you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
