Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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