O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
