I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
