so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
She made me pour olive oil on her.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
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