That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
