Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
God I need to hump something, right now.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
