Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
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