you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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