If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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