Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
