If i come over, it means nothing
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
