I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
