hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Randomize
